Checking in—sitting in the gardens of the Waterville Estate in Santa Cruz, Trinidad. The old Cocoa plantations from the times of slavery. Some of the locals I’ve met, believe Santa Cruz is haunted. I reply by saying, “I’m making friends with the ghosts.” There is no other way. We must listen to our ancestors, our eternal brothers and sisters. Lessons from their experiences whisper to us through intuition. As beings of light, we can not turn from the vast darkness in the world. It is up to us to shine brightest when approached by this darkness.
There is immense spiritual emptiness in the world today, and there is no greater news than this; all gardeners know they must clear the weeds before planting seeds. I remember when my inward spiritual journey was starting to pick up momentum. Talking with my mother, I told her all of the realizations I was having and how I didn’t believe in X, Y, and Z—or A, B, and C for that matter. She smiled and said simply, “What do you believe in?” I had no answer. At that point I had been so busy clearing space for my garden that I had not yet decided what I would plant.
When I first began sharing my idea for Walkabout Redemption, people would ask, “What have you done, that you need redemption for?” Once again, this stumped me. I was left without a complete answer.
However, until we walk hand-in-hand with God along our paths, and even then—we must seek the coming of Heaven on earth. As if, it hasn’t been here all along. This trip into the Caribbean has been a spiritual awakening for me; although, I’m still sorting it into words. There haven’t been any great new realizations for me, rather the fulfillment of a personal relationship with God, which I’ve known for years has been there all along.
If my ideas make you uncomfortable, you are welcome to quit reading at any point, but realize there is no growth until we place ourselves in uncomfortable situations. Half of my audience rolls their eyes when I mention God, the other half, when I say I’m not religious. So, I’ll start with this—how many languages are in the world? Okay—there are at least that many names for God.
We must realize the All-Loving and All-Wise is unnamable. Early in my walk with faith it troubled me that to commit fully to one religion was to persecute the rest. To claim one religion, was to tell someone else they were wrong. Who am I to tell anyone their relationship with God isn’t the truth? (I am by no means putting down religion, just explaining my experiences. Religion has opened countless doors for people to know God on a personal level.)
So, I began to read—not just the Bible (which admittedly, I had not read up to that point in my life) but spiritual text from around the world; eastern philosophy especially gained my interest. I realized there was truth, deep inner truth, in every text I picked up. Each, ultimately spreading the same message of love, equality, and consciousness. This is how I began to see God—One Consciousness.
Studying the history of religions, I realized Christianity, Judaism, and Islam were all basically the same. Of course, the elite powers of the world had altered the texts and used them for personal gain, and slaughtered millions of people with their religion, their God as the excuse. Sign me up—not. How could I back such institutions as these? Institutions which alter their spiritual texts as they please to most benefit the elites in power.
As I mentioned before, religion opens the door for millions of people to have personal relationships with God and through God’s love and grace there are great benefits in these relationships—personally and for the communities which the religions serve. But in the world today, religion leaves a bad taste in most people’s mouths—so they turn away from God all together. It is the human condition though to search for light in the darkness of the world.
You will find it within your own heart. Look inward—God has been there all along. But through the greatest gift of all, free-will, it is up to us to come to this realization on our own time—perfect time.
There is one God, the Creator of all which exists, yet it’s impossible for the human mind to comprehend this. God is unnamable and incomprehensible. The easy way—is to believe the perspective you were born into. The difficult path is to find your own faith. After all, Jesus was not Christian. I urge everyone to search and read the Lost Gospel of Thomas, which contains words directly from Jesus’ mouth. Find the light within yourself.
My days in Trinidad have reached a whole new level of limin’. I wake up between 7 and 8, brew some tea, and sit directly down to type (at least 1000 words free-writing). This helps me sift through the mumbo-jumbo that blocks my clarity. Following free-write, I eat breakfast (usually oatmeal), then meditate before grabbing a book and climbing into my hammock. I read for an hour or two and then doze into a siesta. I wake up usually after 30-45 minutes and repeat the process. A new cup of tea, a second meditation, and I sit down with my keyboard (this time with intentions set on what to write about). Following an hour or two sitting with my words, I close the screen and pick up a book—finding the familiar sway of the hammock and sometimes a second siesta.
In the evenings, I check out what’s happening in town—with Carnival beginning Monday, there is always something happening. I’ve fallen in love with the steel pan and the sweet music it produces. There is nothing so pure as being completely free: no responsibilities or expectations. We must be able to observe ourselves and our lives without judgement. The clarity I’ve gained thus far is irreplaceable. I realized I have not given a full effort towards anything in life for about five years; I’ve just been treading water. Wow.
Of course, this realization brought great guilt—luckily, I hold forgiveness close to my heart. My eyes are open to my path and the words are beginning to flow. I create that which I am. Inhale (I create)—exhale (I am). Repeat. This is my mantra as I meditate. This is my year of creation. One day at a time; one breath at a time. I create—I am.
Guidance, Blessings
Capt. BZ